Lord Frankenfeeter

hearst-castle-tele-36

 

A Three Act Play of Sorts
English version by Wordydave
Characters:  Lady Janella, most beautiful wife of her stalwart husband
Lord Frankenfeeter, stalwart husband of his beautiful wife

SCENE:  Lord Frankenfeeter’s enormous castle in far away Italy. The year is 1565. There has just been a grievous accident to Lord Frankenfeeter’s kicking foot. The whole land is devastated by the news that the young Lord will never play soccer again.

ACT I

LADY JANELLA:

Alas! Sweet perfect pair! O, prized delights!
Methinks I durst not gaze upon thy wound
For fear of wounding more with careless sight!
O, fallen Champion! I, too, must swoon!

[Lady Janella faints at Lord Frankenfeeter’s feet]

LORD FRANKENFEETER:

O, double wound!  For now my heart is pierced!

[Lord Frankenfeeter hobbles to an open window and engages the night sky]

What misery attends us mortals, Moon!
M’lady faints because her love is fierce,
And I am plagued with far too much too soon!

[Lord Frankenfeeter hobbles back to Lady Janella, bends down and takes her in his arms]

Awake, my daunted dove and dare to smile!

[Lady Janella half wakes]

LADY JANELLA:

M’lord, I pray thee, let me sleep awhile.
I see thy pristine prancing in my dream –
A stalwart stag who storms along the stream.
Deny me not this dram, my doleful dear.
To sleep!  To dream!  To snore away the tears!

[Lady Janella swoons again]

LORD FRANKENFEETER:

O, choice companion, leave me not alone
To brave defeat! The moon is dumb, the stars
Are silent, and these shadowed walls are stone!
How can mortal wear such scourging scars?

[Lord Frankenfeeter hobbles back to the window]

Farewell, sweet life! Farewell, sweet wife! Adieu!
‘Tis better dreams preserve my perfect hue!

[Lord Frankenfeeter jumps out window as Lady Janella awakes in time
to see him airborne. She races to the window and looks down upon his
lifeless form]

ACT II

LADY JANELLA: [with tears]

To be or not to be, that was the question.
The answer lies below – the secret learned –
The pavement teaches such a cruel lesson.
But hark!  How now?  His quite dead head doth turn!
Yea, doth turn and smile!  Doth even speak!

O quiet, pounding heart, for he doth seek
An audience before he flies away!
O, foolish Lord of mine, say on I pray!

[Lady Janella’s tears rain upon her fallen love]

LORD FRANKENFEETER: [in death throes]

Janella, dear, my Lady Fair, the dew
That drops from scented cheeks I’ll feel no more!
The face with sparkling eyes will fade from view!
I go a fool and with me goes footsore!
Hail, eternity!
I most humbly greet thee!

[Lord Frankenfeeter succumbs]

ACT III

LADY JANELLA: [weeping profusely now]

O, brave – O, foolish knight, I love thee still!
Though motionless to eyes, my heart doth spy
The memory of faultless form and skill!
O, Frankenfeeter, I too must choose to die!

[Lady Janella climbs onto the window ledge, raising her arms
to moon and stars]

To live, to love, to lose life all too soon!
I call thee witness to my plight, O, Moon!
And as I float toward my long exile,
I beg of thee to somewhat hide thy smile.

[Lady Janella flies to her love who waits below]

FINIS

 

1986
Written for Jan and Frank, fellow
workers after Frank suffered
a nail-in-foot accident at work.

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