Fellow Traveler,
People are surprised when they ask how I spell my last name and I answer, “Sinner with a ‘K’.” I rarely do it, but most folks get this quizzical look on their face and probably wonder what planet I’m from. But there is a sure and certain truth about it: I’m a sinner, and Kristos has inserted His name and given me a new one. My greatest challenge is living up to the new one.
In the book, Valley of Vision, prayers of the Puritans are recorded to show the length and depth of the heartfelt longings, praises, thanksgivings, and contrition that believers experience. Few can match their lofty use of language in the 21st century. “O LORD, thou knowest my great unfitness for service, my present deadness, my inability to do anything for thy glory, my distressing coldness of heart. I am weak, ignorant, unprofitable, and loathe and abhor myself. I am at a loss to know what thou wouldest have me to do, for I feel amazingly deserted by thee, and sense thy presence so little; Thou makest me possess the sins of my youth, and the dreadful sin of my nature, so that I feel all sin, I cannot think or act but every motion is sin. Return again with showers of converting grace to a poor gospel-abusing sinner. Help my soul breathe after holiness, after a constant devotedness to thee, after growth in grace more abundantly every day . . .”
We are too inclined to falling into sin. “Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it . . . Prone to leave the God I love.” Our first parents were soon deceived. King David too easily cast a longing look. Peter’s fears quickly led to the sound of the crowing. And we follow suit in our own lives as we willingly deny the One who bought us by turning from the path of righteousness for some unlawful pleasure. It is as if our brains cease to function rationally for one brief moment. We bow to the sins of anger, covetousness, evil thoughts, lust, ambition, and idolatry, ending up as the Puritan felt, “amazingly deserted by thee.” Dullness of heart, broken heavenly fellowship, and a lost loving attitude of worship take the place of true peace in our souls, and we fall into the misery of having quenched the Spirit. What fools we are to trade a God-pleasing Christian walk for an unholy, God-dishonoring wallow in sin.
There is but one thing to do when we reach the bottom. We look up and call upon the God of mercy, saying with fallen David, “Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness; according to the multitude of Your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned and done this evil in Your sight – that You may be found just when You speak, and blameless when You judge . . . Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me hear joy and gladness, that the bones You have broken may rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit . . .” Psalm 51:1-4,7-12.
May our prayers rise to a holy Father today in full assurance of forgiveness. May we pray along with our 17th century Puritan brother, “O how I need thee to abide in me, for I have no natural eyes to see thee, but I live by faith in one whose face to me is brighter than a thousand suns! When I see that all sin is in me, all shame belongs to me; let me know that all good is in thee, all glory is thine.”
Old Davy